Who am I?
Hi Everyone, my name is Peggy Santosa, welcome to my heart space. I am a clinical psychologist by training chosen to live life through the guidance of Yoga ethics (Yama/Niyama) as a Yoga practitioner as well as Tibetan Buddhist practitioner. I counsel, teach yoga and write but mainly, I am just practicing what I call living life Mindfully and what that means is to continue to learn from life’s teaching, caring for my environment and my community deeply, allowing my wounds to be teachers and inspiration to others in the same path.
I grew up in a conservative family where the chain of family duty and social expectations are so dense. It is not easy being a woman in a society where women are under valued or living your truth could face significant repercussions (being cut off by family, feeling ‘guilty’ of bringing shame to family etc), it had been a struggle to come into my own being, to be in my own story and truth and break away from that chain. It had been a long journey and to certain extent I still struggle with it.
When I was much younger I didn’t know how to deal with all the pressure and restrictions, I turned to hard drugs to numb many of my emotional pains and trauma. I am happy to say that I had been clean and continue to be on the road of recovery for 14 years now. Other than substances, I used to be severely co-dependent, as soon as I was off the drugs it had became clear that I was also addicted to to relationship. I didn’t know who I was aside from who I was define through the person I was in with at that moment. I grew up confused and everything that was true to me was ‘wrong’ to my parents and as a young individual that create a deep fear in pursuing me for the sake of not wanting to be ‘wrong’ or ‘different’ With the co-dependence I merge to a personality fitting to the relationship at that moment and I was in an even more lost. I stuck into a relationship just out of fear of not knowing who I would be if I am not with that person anymore. Ring a bell anyone? I feel you =)
As a Clinical Psychologist I had worked with many trauma clients and being their advocates, these experiences had taught me to learn to stand up on my feet so that I could be a strong advocate for women, men and children who are unable to do so for themselves. My client works encouraged me to embark on the journey of healing many of my own traumas and slowly finding out who I am as a person. All of us in the healing professions are responsible for our own healing in order to be a responsible container for others.
Then came Yoga and Tibetan Buddhism and I took on the call to start my own Soul Journey. I left the comfort of my then ‘soon to be married’ relationship and although I jumped around through many others thereafter, with each I slowly owning my own shadow, no more running away from them. At that time, I didn’t believe that it was my time to ‘be married’ I was young, I would do it out of obeying the social confinement of ‘by that age a woman should…’ (fill in the blank) and submitting to fear of consequences that would come from it and mostly the fear of being alone and that would not be a good reason to be married!! On top of it, how can I truly love someone when I didn’t even know who I was, how to love or to take care of me!
If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be here today sitting comfortably with the most important person I have in this life – Me. I went through hell to get to know me: the beauty, scars, wounds, shadow and all. I still struggle with harsh voices of my childhood that said ‘You are not good enough! You are too young to do anything important! You are inexperienced and know nothing!’ writing that still bring tears to my eyes. I have wonderful parents who did the best they can and I am forever grateful and love them deeply but yes their words had become deep scars in my heart. I am still a work in progress to heal and to forgive. The base of any relationship you have in this life is a relationship you have with yourself, so if you want to have fruitful relationship with others, start with you.
For the past 3.5 years I was running my own healing center here in Singapore – Casa Santosa but my work today, other than teaching yoga, is less clinical and more about providing container for my clients to get their story heard. I believe that the healing is in the story, by providing that compassionate space for someone to tell their own truth, it is cathartic and liberating and I intent to be that container of healing.
This blog is my heart space where I allow myself to speak my truth and own my story, learning, things that have inspired me, the struggles and the joy walking the path of Spirit. My intention is to inspire, bring hope and healing to women and men who is in their journey of self love, finding their identity and their voice, walking the path of Spirit. I wanted the blog to be container of love and healing not only for myself and also for others. I also hope for it to be a call to awaken others to rise up to a life worth living – an Authentic Life that is most true to you.
Since none of us getting out alive out of this life and I believe in the oneness of you and I, there are no competition other than the competition I have with myself, we might as well be each other cheerleader and walk each other home mindfully with love and compassion.
Some last quirky things about me would be that I live in a cosmopolitan city but I am a free spirit at heart –running barefooted and naked through the magical forest; although I am no longer attached to the latest fashion I still believe in the power of walking in cute shoes will get you through any bad days; I love science but believe in magic; in the boundary of black and white I live in Pastel colors, I believe that animal and nature are our teachers and I am OBSESSED with my black cat Luna, totally believe that she is my Spiritual Guardian.
So CHEERS to being weird, quirky, to Live Life Mindfully – Own Your Truth. Hope you enjoy the blogs and that it brings inspirations and courage to live your life Mindfully and Authentically.
I would love to connect with you
I am OBSESSED with Instagram, I post, write and stalk people and repost, other places would be the comment box on the blog itself, Facebook and lastly Twitter. Look forward to connect with you virtually and hopefully in person.
Peggy graduated from University of San Francisco in 2001 with Psychology Degree which was followed by a Master degree in Clinical Psychology which started her work with treating abused children from families with drug abuse, violence and gang involvement; and assisting people in suicide prevention and crisis intervention.
Yoga came into her life as a form of self-care for her own personal growth as therapist and to help her grow as an individual so that she can continue to assist those in need.
She moved to Singapore from San Francisco in 2006 to continue her work helping others through work with local non governmental organization handling Family and Juvenile Courts to help families and juvenile to steer their life in a functional ways of life
She had been studying with master yoga teachers since 2005, influenced by several traditions. She trained with Mark Whitwell, Seanne Corn, Desiree Rumbaugh, Noah Maze, Shiva Rea, Victory Chng, Sarah Powers, Patrick Creelman and had been working closely with Andrei Ram-Om, from the Dharma Mitra Lineage whom she referred to as her beacon of light in her path of Yoga.
Influenced by her Psychology background, her Tibetan Buddhist Practice, Peggy offers counseling or what she would call Compassionate Listening, Yoga and meditation as a way to approach our world with gratitude, mindfulness and compassion.
Her classes integrate the dynamic of Vinyasa flow asana with alignment, meditation, intention, pranayama and spirituality to create an inner journey towards healing and self-empowerment