I’ll never fit in, that’s one of my best qualities – Peggy Santosa

The year was 2003, that girl on that photo was the ultimate party girl with all sorts of bad habits in the world that you can think of, lived on the edge, and sure knows hot to live life on the wild side.  Although not all just crazy, wild and destructive, that girl worked hard to achieve many things too:  Completing her Master degree in Clinical Psychology, interning with abused children populationsm completing thesis on the trend of plastic surgery which was then selected for science publication for being the roferunner in carving the way where mental health should be looking at for the danger of plastic surgery and body image.  Despite days of drukenness and hung over, she graduated top of her peers with many acclaimed recommnedation from her mentors that lead to many job offers.  She was in one of the safest, stable and loving relationship:  had a nice place, fancy cars, and a roomful of shoes.

Life appeared to be perfect.

But despite the perfection and the fullness of her life, her heart was empty, it felt like something missing:  There has got to be something more to life rather than just following the motions and expectations set into life to achieved and to accomplished.  That girl withouth realizing had settled and conformed to what was expected of her, and she had live a slow death, seeked thrill to feel alived through substances.  No one notice this deeper agony, no one other than her screaming wild spirit that had been ‘tamed’

What that girl didn’t know was that Yoga was about to find her, she was about to walk into that one thing that was gonna shattered her whole life broke every piecs of her empty caged heart, question every aspect of her life, destroyed anything she thought of herself, spin and turn her whole life upside down.  That moment Yoga found her she didn’t know what yoga would do to her life, but she had always knew that Yoga would be HER LIFE.

I wonder if she had known 13 years ago of what would happened after that unforgettable moment when she had sobbed her scarred and empty heart out on the yoga mat, would she still have the courage to do it all over again?  I wonder if I would befriend that girl on the photo?  I wonder if she would have been proud of the woman she had become?


Looking back, through all the struggles, the heartbreak, the rivers of tears and suffocating pain, I will thank her for following her heart and stepped into that first Yoga class.  Through it all, I thank her for her determination and courage to persevere despite the many challenges, all that and her loyalty had always been one of the thing that is attractive about her.  The life we have now, to ‘live on the edge’ by surrendering to higher force that give a sense of ‘high’ in life beyond any temporary substance, to be able to live wildly following my heart, made all the journey worth while and she will always be the best of friend I have ever had in this life:  her young mischieves and adventures had brought such colorful unforgetable memories to look back with laughter when things get too serious in life.

Cheers to all of you lovelies!! who are in your journey to discover yourself better….let there always be laughter and at times, its good to look back to see how far we’ve come and be proud with all that we have accomplished.